


As All Stars Fall...

by didsomeonesayventus



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/M, Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright Spoilers, Hoshido | Birthright Route, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright, Relationship Issues, Slight Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6899233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didsomeonesayventus/pseuds/didsomeonesayventus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't come out of this unchanged. You can't keep going on like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As All Stars Fall...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello naughty children it's angst time (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfYNkf1rorQ)

It started after crossing the mountain. The sag in her shoulders became more apparent no matter what her cloak added to make them look broader. Her eyes were red in more than one way. Corrin... Corrin was upset, she wasn’t perfect, and if Subaki wasn’t going to try his hardest to fix her then who was he to let her drag herself down like this?

Gods, he could barely remember what had happened when Kaze died. The mountain shaking, and suddenly his lovely wife screaming. The Kinshi Birds and Pegasi were frightened enough by the earth quaking as if it wanted nothing of them, but nothing could pierce his heart in such a way as Corrin screaming. 

Hinoka had been the first to fly over, and he stubbornly followed. After all, he couldn’t be outdone by anyone, could he? He flew over to save Corrin- his dearest Corrin dangling from a cliff -and he intended to save Kaze too, but Hinkoka said she’d handle Kaze and so he focused on Corrin. Just Corrin.

And then Kaze fell. And he had to hear that scream a second time, had to wrench her fingers from the cliff and pull her up before she followed, had to keep her on his bird while she screamed and wailed before finally feeling her cling to him and weep.

Later that night as they rested in her quarters he could hear her crying all night. In the morning he smiled when he put the flower back in her hair, he tried to encourage her, he truly did. She’d smile back, and nod, and look like she wasn’t witnessing her world crumbling to pieces. He kept silent, kept being perfect for her and not prying or questioning unless she asked him to, but his heart kept breaking.

But she seemed to recover. Corrin smiled and laughed and remained perfection in his eyes, and he hoped the same as Subaki stayed by her side in perfect obedience.

But people also kept dying.

Flora turned to ash before their eyes.

(He’d never forget the stench of burning flesh. Never forget the hiss of Corrin’s tears on her cheeks from the heat.)

Lilith performed the ultimate task of her self-imposed servitude.

(She was so tiny in Corrin’s arms, and he couldn’t see her face through the hair pouring off her shoulders as she carelessly wept yet more.)

Elise was so young to have perished, worst of all by her brother’s hand.

(And Subaki thought Corrin screaming about Kaze was bone chilling.)

Xander had lost the will to fight, and let Corrin herself end his life.

(Corrin never looked at Yato the same way the rest of her own.)

Azura...

Azura dissolving into foam and water before their eyes- for a reason Subaki and many others would never know -was a nail in the coffin.

(Corrin had just slumped to the ground, staring at what the bubbles had left behind: nothing.)

The fight was over, and so many were gone. Corrin would never stop blaming herself, never stop whispering their names in her sleep, never stop asking why, _why, **why**_. Subaki could only guess, and no answer seemed to please her, and in turn it did not please himself. What husband was he if he couldn’t ease her heart? He was failing. He hated failing.

Soon he was training relentlessly, trying to cover the hole in his heart. Getting stronger, getting better, but starting to distance himself from Corrin. He loved her too much to bear having no answer that satisfied her. How could he show himself to her when he kept failing, how could he live with the shame of disappointing her and failing to support her in her darkest hours? He had nothing to turn to but his duties, and soon space invaded even their room, their bed.

“Subaki...”

“I know, how come someone as perfect as me can forget his wife?”

His laughter was empty. Her voice was tired.

“Listen, if you...”

“Darling...”

She couldn’t look at him. He looked at her from the corners of his eyelids.

“If you don’t want to be around anymore-”

“No! No, Corrin, I want to stay.”

He held her hands. Her tiny, frail hands rough and calloused.

“It’s hurting you, too-”

“It is, but let me try harder. Let me try to be perfect for you. Let me try to be everything.”

Her lips seemed to retreat inwards as her red eyes quivered. He took deep breaths, trying to stop his own tears.

“You can’t be everything-”

“I can try! I’m going to be flawless in everything I can be and that includes loving you!”

His words were a passionate vow with no direction. Her hand wrapped around his own to look for painful solace.

“Subaki, m-maybe you can’t fix this. Maybe you can’t fix me.”

“Ok, I’ll admit I have no idea what I must do, but Corrin... Corrin....”

Corrin stared into Subaki’s determined, painful gaze. Subaki drank in every facture of hers.

“You can’t bring them back.”

“I can’t, but I can bring _you_ back.”

His silence showed doubt. Hers showed somber acceptance.

“I can’t have you beat yourself up because I’m not happy, Subaki.”

“And I can’t bear to see you like this, Corrin! You’re my _wife_!”

Subaki closed any distance between them and held Corrin’s chin, tilting her face to his, “You’re my wife, and Kana’s mother, and Caeldori’s. Your sadness is breaking all of our hearts. All we want is our smiling, sunshine Corrin back.”

“What do you want me to _do_ then, Subaki?!” Corrin yelled, “I can’t forget them, I can’t forget the mistakes I’ve made-”

“You made no mistakes!” Subaki yelled back, “You did what you had to do!”

“Kaze died because I couldn’t hold on-”

“He let go, didn’t he?! I’d hardly call that any fault of yours!”

“I couldn’t help Flora’s people and she-”

“Her choice! Horrible, but her choice!”

“What about Lilith then?!”

“Also her choice, not yours-”

“But if I only-”

“You were right to fight Hans, and it was Lilith’s choice-”

“ELISE?! XANDER?! WHAT ABOUT THEM?! DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY WANTED TO DIE?!”

She was weeping again. Thick, burning tears and a hoarse, grating voice. Subaki could only press his head against hers, letting his tears fall as she bawled like a child. Soon she clung to him. Soon they fell to the floor.

“It’s hard, darling, it’s hard...” Subaki murmured, pulling her close, leaning his head atop hers and combing her hair with his fingers, “and I’m so sorry I can’t help you...”

“It keeps hurting...” She moaned in reply, “I can still see their faces, hear their last words, see their last breaths... I want it to stop...”

“I know, I know...”

“It won’t stop...”

“It won’t... and I’m sorry.”

He cradled Corrin, clinging to her, hoping it was doing something, hoping that his attempt could work. This was going to last her whole life, and things would either get better or worse from here on. Hoshido and Nohr were both growing prosperous, but Corrin was withering. It wasn’t fair.

“I’ll be there for you, I’ll try, I promise.”

It wasn’t perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> SO YEAH I'm gone for like, ever, and I come back having finished Birthright and full of feelings.
> 
> Yes Kaze died on my first playthrough.
> 
> Yes Subaki is my husband.
> 
> Yes I'm a little dead on the inside and felt the need to share it with you.


End file.
